Ties That Bind and Break
by Midoriri
Summary: AU Genderswitch Mello and Near always had their disagreements. But when one goes too far, and with terrible consequences, can their relationship ever be fixed? Do they really even WANT it to?
1. Chapter 1

The door slammed so hard that it shook the whole house. But Near didn't even flinch. She just sat there on the floor, staring. Her eyes were on the front door, her face blank, but looking as though she were waiting for it to open again. He _would _come back in...he usually did. Most of the time, when they had fights like this, he'd just stew outside on the porch, maybe go for a drive or something...but the door always opened again, and he'd come right back in, still looking peeved, but a lot less so.

Near heard the revving of the motorcycle outside, and then the sound of the tires over gravel as he pulled away. No doubt he was going to Matt's. That was where he normally went when he got mad at her.

**-oOo-**

"Almost there..." Matt muttered, fingers tapping the buttons of his game-system. "Almost...got it!" At the moment, he was in the middle of a boss fight, and the _final_ boss at that. He'd worked his ass off trying to get all those strength-enhancers, fancy weapons, secret attacks, and now it was the moment of truth. The boss's hit points were whittled down to almost nothing, and he was low on HP himself. _A little more... _"Yes!" he shouted as the giant monster fell to the ground in a bloody heap and his character did a victory pose. "Finally-"

At that second the front door burst open. "Matt, I'm staying here!" came an all-too-familiar voice.

Groaning inwardly, Matt set the game on the couch and wandered into the entryway. Mello was removing his helmet and jacket, just tossing them onto the floor like he lived there. Well, with the way he and Near were fighting so often, it may as well have been the case.

Actually, that statement was a little of an exaggeration. It was usually Mello who did the actual fighting. Near would piss him off somehow, resulting in Mello shouting at her. She never responded the way he wanted her to. When one yelled at someone, they usually wanted the other person to shout right back. But Near never did that. If she even acknowledged that Mello was speaking to her, she would only stare at him and speak the same way she always did. Quietly.

And that would make Mello even angrier, and while he yelled at her, she would just sit there and manage to insult him (whether purposely or accidentally, Mello never knew) with a perfectly straight face and even tone. And Mello would leave, head over to Matt's, crash there for a little while (the record was twelve hours), and then go right on home.

It usually made Matt wonder if the two ever did anything _special_ to make up. But then he'd get weirded out and turn on some TV to get those images out of his head.

"What happened this time?" Matt asked, reaching for his cigarettes. He held out the pack and asked "Want one?"

Mello shook his head and walked right past him, into the kitchen. "The usual," he replied, a hard edge to his tone. Opening the fridge and peering inside, he growled "And where the hell are the chocolates?"

"Mello, you _ate_ the last of them the last time you came here," Matt reminded him. "Which was about three days ago, if I remember correctly," he muttered to himself as he retrieved the lighter.

Mello muttered a curse under his breath and slammed the fridge shut, storming to the living room.

"What about beer?" Matt called after him.

"No!"

Matt shrugged as he took a deep drag of the cigarette. "Note to self, get more chocolate..." At this point he looked down noticed a large backpack on the floor. That was odd...Mello didn't usually bring things with him... "Mello, how long are you staying, exactly?"

In the front room, Mello flopped onto a chair and turned on the TV. He didn't answer the question.

Matt walked in, holding up the backpack by one of the black straps. "Mello? How long are you staying?"

Mello just shrugged and turned up the volume.

Seeing that he wasn't getting anywhere, Matt sighed and dropped the bag by Mello's feet before taking his place on the couch. "Must've been pretty bad this time."

"Nah, it was the same," Mello answered before he could stop himself. "I just had it, is all."

Matt nodded. "Uh-huh." He went back to his game for a few seconds (he needed to save before that battery chocked out its last breath), and looked back up at his friend. Something seemed off, but he wasn't sure what...

**-oOo-**

Near sighed as she got up off the floor and wandered towards the bathroom. She needed a bath. She didn't go the front door to lock it; she never did that when Mello stormed out. He had his own key, so it shouldn't have been a problem for him to get back in, but once he got so angry he just left without it by mistake. Back then, Near had always locked the door, and she had to smile when she woke up at three in the morning to hear Mello trying to enter through the bedroom window.

She had gotten out of bed and walked to the window, teasing him a little by just standing there and watching him struggle to open it, and listen to his muffled curses at her. "For God's sakes, just open it, will you?" he had shouted at one point.

It was only then that Near let him see her small smile, and bent to open the window. Mello had tumbled in, muttering to himself that he ought to put the key around his neck or something and wear it like a good-luck charm.

"I don't think it'd be a good-luck charm," Near had told him as she shut the window. "Just a key that you wouldn't forget. So you won't have to climb in through a window or try breaking the door down." She'd bent down to his level as she added "It's a good thing no one saw you. Then we'd have the police on their way."

"You wouldn't let them take me," Mello growled softly, standing up and walking to the bed. "And I'd be in by that time anyway."

"It would still be amusing," Near said simply as she joined him. She flinched slightly as she felt his arms go around her waist. "You're cold..."

"For now."

Ever since that night, Near never locked the door. Not that she'd mind if there was a repeat performance, but the window was not the best way to enter a house.

As she watched the water fill the tub, she had to wonder how long Mello would be gone this time. Would he come back this night, or in the morning? And would he even _go_ to Matt's place? (More than once, he had simply rode around on his motorcycle, sometimes until morning. On those days, he'd come in and start eating like he was a starving man. And then he'd glare at Near, watching him from the entry to the kitchen, and mutter a "Don't say _anything..."_)

Which reminded her; was he going to eat something? That backpack he'd left with looked pretty full, so there was no doubt that there was a chocolate bar in there somewhere to tide him over. But then, chocolate made people thirsty. Did he have a drink?

Near reached forward to turn the water off; a few more minutes and the tub would be overflowing.

**-oOo-**

Matt grunted as he got off the couch. "I'm gonna order a pizza," he said. "Want anything specific on it?"

"No," Mello answered, changing channels. There was a soap commercial showing a man and a woman taking a bubble bath together. Mello hastily went to another channel.

In the kitchen, Matt kept shooting glances at Mello as he placed the order. Yes, there was definitely something different about him. But what was it? Not his hair...unless it had grown a bit. But how fast could hair grow in only three days?

He wasn't wearing new clothes...there weren't any freckles on him or anything..._Damn, what _is_ it? _Matt thought as he scrutinized the blond man in the living room.

He put the phone back onto the receiver and went back to the living room, still staring at Mello. Mello, sensing he was under scrutiny, looked up, glaring from beneath his bangs. "What?"

Matt just shook his head. "Something's off," he muttered.

"What do you mean 'something's off?'"

"Just that. There's something different about you."

In answer, Mello just turned his head away, his attention back to the TV. After a few moments of silence, he lifted his left hand.

Matt's eyes went wide. "Whoa..."

**-oOo-**

Near sighed as she sank deeper into the water, the warm water coming up to just below her nose. Her eyes closed as she lost herself in the warmth, feeling the steam on her face, and occasionally feeling a tickle as a strand of long hair brushed against her skin. Almost against her will, she found herself remembering the first time she saw Mello.

_She was in the backseat of a car, huddled in a ball as she stared straight ahead. There was someone in the driver's seat, trying to make small talk with her. She never answered him. _

_"How old are you, sweetie?"_

_Why was he even asking? He knew how old she was..._

_"Do you like to read? Draw? Play with dolls?"_

_Silence. She held back a yawn. It was getting late. She shifted her gaze to the view outside. There were lots of streetlights, all of them shining brightly to illuminate people's paths through the darkness outside. Wait. No, there was one with its light burnt out. _Why isn't anyone going to fix it?

_"Don't worry, you'll make lots of friends here," the voice was saying as the car slowed to a stop. "It may take awhile, but it'll happen, you believe that."_

Liar. _She instinctively drew back when the door opened and someone reached for her. Her eyes grew wide when she felt their hands on her arms, drawing her forward. Her basic survival instinct took over, and she let herself go limp, becoming a deadweight._

_"Oh, come on now, don't be afraid...it's alright, see?"_

_She was being pulled out of the car, into the cold air. She slumped her shoulders and wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the shivers. Someone crouched in front of her to see her face._

_"Delicate little thing, isn't she?"_

_"Let's get her inside, quickly."_

_As the two 'someones' took her shoulders and gently steered her inside, she could heard something. It sounded like mice scurrying for cover. _

_"Mello!"_

_She flinched at the louder (but not too loud, nor harsh. _Odd...)_ voice and saw who the shout was directed at._

_A boy, almost her own age, with blond hair, was scrambling for the steps, a chocolate bar in his mouth. He nearly slipped on the stairs, but saved himself at the last second (looking over his shoulder to see if he would be followed) and bolted up, ducking around a corner. She could vaguely hear a whoop of victory._

_Her eyes grew wider and as she was steered up those stairs, she craned her neck, trying to find the little thief. One of the 'someones' at her side chuckled. "That was Mello."_

Mello...

...

Near opened her eyes again and shifted them to look at the toilet. Or, to be more exact, what sat on the top of it.

Her ring. She'd taken it off so as not to ruin it with the water. Maybe you couldn't ruin these kinds of rings with water, but...Well, it was more like a superstition, or a prevention of bad luck. If she didn't do anything to damage it, then maybe things would be alright.

_Not that it would matter,_ she thought as she closed her eyes again and ducked under the water. _Considering..._

**-oOo-**

Matt could only stare at his friend's hand. "You...you _didn't,"_ he breathed.

Mello nodded. "I did."

"It can't have been _that_ bad!"

_Mello snarled at her as he stood in front of the door, his backpack slung over his shoulder, helmet by the door as it waited for him. He lifted one hand and... "Fine! You know what? I've _had_ it with you!"_

_And Near just stared as, in one fluid motion, he pulled the engagement ring from his finger and hurled it to the ground before storming out._


	2. Chapter 2

_Crash!_

_Blocks flew everywhere as the nine-year-old boy landed right in the middle of the castle. He crouched down and stared up at her through blond bangs. And...nothing._

_Near just stared at him as if he were a pesky fly on her sandwich. "That's the third time, Mello," she said calmly. "I'll just pick my blocks up again and start over."_

_"I'm playing here," Mello complained, standing up straight. "Why don't you take your blocks somewhere else?"_

_"Because I want to play here," was the calm answer. And with those words, Near returned to her toys, leaning forward and picking up the brightly-colored blocks that were within arm's reach. In frustration, and possibly to get a different type of reaction from the albino girl, Mello kicked some of them away. "Mello, don't do that. It's quite juvenile."_

_"You're juvenile!" Mello retorted, crossing his thin arms and looking away. He would later think that as far as come-backs went, that one was pretty lame. But what could a nine-year-old come up with on the spot like that?_

_On the other side of the room, Matt held back a laugh. This was better than television! "Mello, do something else!" he called out, grinning from ear to ear. "Take away her teddy-bear!"_

_"She doesn't even have a teddy-bear!" Mello shouted, turning to look over his shoulder. "And I don't need any help!"_

_It was at this point that a teacher finally appeared to usher Mello away, whispering at him to leave Near alone. Mello wasn't being cooperative, however. "You're weird!" he shouted over his shoulder._

_"Mello, leave her alone."_

_"Weirdo!"_

_"Mello!"_

_"Freak!"_

_"Mello!"_

_Near didn't react to any of it, and that made Mello's blood boil. Just like every other day. Near only avoided eye contact and moved to pick up her blocks, rearranging them into a castle with large turrets while Mello was led out of the room, no doubt to be confined in his own._

_Matt came to see him later, still grinning. Mello looked so funny, he decided, sitting on the bed and glaring at the wall, like a new convict. "Hey," he greeted his friend as he entered, closing the door behind him. "How long is it this time?"_

_"Half an hour," the blond grumbled, reaching under his pillow for something. He withdrew a tennis ball and proceeded to throw it against a wall, catching it as it came back and repeating the process. "Stupid solitary confinement..."_

_"Didn't you try escaping the last time, though?" Matt asked, screwing up his face in confusion. "How come you aren't today?"_

_"Because some of the other kids are freakin' tattle-tales. And they're all spyin' on the hallways, and last time, I got caught and had to go back into my room for two more hours."_

_Matt stared at him. Spies, now, huh? That was new. "And how come you're so upset about this?" Matt asked, sitting on the floor and leaning against the bed. "I mean, you've got all your cool stuff in here, and you're far away from the freak," he reasoned._

_Mello shrugged. It was true that he had all his things in his room,but that didn't mean that he wanted to be in there all the time. And he wanted to harass Near some more...And confinement wasn't the most appealing thing to him, not now, not ever. He didn't like being caged up; he needed freedom, he needed to be out and about, doing all sorts of things that would eventually get him into trouble and then confined al over again. (He preferred to not get caught, of course, but it usually did happen.) _

_But Matt wasn't done yet. "And then, as soon as you get out, you're heading right back to Near, and the whole process starts over again. I don't think it makes much sense, Mello."_

_"Nobody asked you."_

_"No, seriously, why do you keep going near her (heh,heh) if you hate her? What, do you like her or something'? Because if you do-"_

_Matt didn't get to finish his sentence, because at that exact second, Mello swung himself around and collided his fist with Matt's jaw. And in another second, he had pinned the boy to the floor and was beating the living crap out of him. "Take that back!" he roared. "Take it back, right now!"_

_"Okay, okay!" Matt screamed, struggling to escape the beating. "I take it back, already!"_

_"I hate her!"_

_"Okay!"_

_"Tell me that you know it!" Mello wasn't relenting._

_"You-ah!-hate Near! Ow, Mello, cut it out!"_

_Breathing heavily, Mello stood up, his feet on either side of Matt, and got back onto his bed. He sat for a moment before flinging himself face-down on it, face hidden in his pillow. Matt vaguely heard him groan._

_"Ah...Mello?"_

_"Beating you up made me tired. Go away," Mello deadpanned._

_"Mello, you didn't beat me that badly, and you never get tired from it-"_

_"Go away."_

_Matt shrugged his shoulders after a few seconds of debating whether or not to drag Mello back out of the bed (and thus, invoke further wrath), and left the room. He adjusted his goggles and walked down the hallway, finally turning a corner. And completely missing the white-haired, dark-eyed girl on the other end of the hallway. And the fact that she was staring at the room he had walked out of._

**-oOo-**

Near sat on the edge of the bed and toweled her hair dry. She was wearing a fresh night-gown (Mello had once rifled through her closet and dresser-drawers to see if she had any other kind of clothing. And the results had not pleased him. Not one little bit.) and socks. And according to the little clock on the nightstand, it was almost midnight._ Mello's probably going to come back in the morning, then,_ Near thought to herself. _But the question is if it'll be at three in the morning, or nine._

He did come back. He always did eventually. Near had told herself that during her entire bath-time, and she used this reasoning to keep a level head. She refused to be like those silly women she read about in books and newspapers, magazines and heard of in movies. The kind that broke apart and fell all to pieces when their lover left them for a little bit. Even if the lover would come back, they fell to the ground and cried, sobbing their eyes out and making fools of themselves. Near would never stoop that low.

And besides, she had all that experience on her side. She knew that he needed to blow off steam, like a temperamental child. But of course, she couldn't send _Mello_ to the corner. He'd just laugh in her face and...well, he'd do something to her to get her to stop ordering him around. (The very memories were enough to make the young woman blush, and that was something she _never_ did!)

Well, the point was that Mello would come home eventually, and Near was not going to stay awake all night waiting for him. She needed her sleep. Sighing, she walked to the laundry hamper to deposit her damp towel, and then from there went to the front door to double-check if it was unlocked.

She didn't get far, though. When she was a foot away from the door, it suddenly opened, and Mello was striding into the room. He didn't close the door behind him, and he made a point to avoid Near's eyes. "Mello?" she called softly. "Are you okay now?"

He didn't answer her. Instead, he went into the bedroom for a few moments, and the fact that he returned with a few of his clothes proved that he wasn't in the mood for bed.

"Mello?" Near turned around and watched him drag out a small suitcase from the closet (how did that get there? And how long did she have that?) and proceed to throw his shirts and pants into it. He still didn't answer her. "Mello, look at me."

He finally did, giving her a cold stare that actually made her get chills up her spine. "I just came back for my stuff," he said stiffly, turning his attention back to the suitcase. He lifted a few of the garments from the mini-pile and started to fold them, to fit them into the small box easier. "Not that there's much to come back for," he muttered under his breath. Near heard him anyway.

She walked up to him and laid her hands on his back. "Mello-"

Mello shoved her away. "Don't touch me," he growled, slamming the suitcase closed. "Where the hell are my chocolates?"

Near seemed, for the first time in years, to be at a loss for words. At last, she answered quietly, "They're in the fridge, like they always are."

"Yeah, thanks," Mello muttered, breezing past her and opening the fridge, removing chocolate bars by the handful and holding them to his chest. "Matt's out there with his car," he said simply, like he was trying to be civil. Like nothing had ever happened between them. Or worse, like they were longtime neighbors that were only now visiting each other and making an attempt to be friends. "I'm crashing with him until I get my own place."

His own place...?! "Mello, you didn't mean...truly-"

"Yeah, I said I had it," Mello answered coldly as he walked past her again, dumping the chocolates onto a stray shirt and wrapping it around them like present. "You do whatever you want with your ring, I don't care."

Near's already-wide eyes widened further. "Mello-"

He lifted the suitcase in one hand, and took the shirt and chocolates in the other, walking to the door. "You wanna shut the door for me? Thanks," he said without waiting for an answer. He took another step and felt something poking him through his shoe. Setting down his belongings just long enough to see what it was, he lifted it from the floor. Near blinked when she saw what it was. His ring. Mello shrugged and set it atop the chocolate/shirt and carried them out the door. "See ya."

Near followed him onto the porch and watched him get into the passenger-seat of a car. Matt's car. Well, at least Matt looked worried. He kept shooting little glances towards the pale girl, as if unsure of what exactly was happening and if he should prevent it. But at last, he shrugged his shoulders, defeated and somewhat apologetic, and he drove off.

Near stood there a few moments longer before succumbing to the cold night air, and walked-no, shuffled, back inside, closing the door behind her.

**-oOo-**

Mello held the ring in front of him, turning it this way and that. Matt took his eyes of the road just long enough to see what it was. "Oh, you found it?" he asked, trying to sound disinterested.

"Uh-huh."

A pause. "So...what're going to do with it?"

In answer, Mello just grinned and rolled down his window. And then threw the ring outside.


	3. Chapter 3

After a week, Near started locking the front door. And not just at night. It was _always_ locked. She didn't leave the house anyway, and her team had copies of the key, so why bother unlocking it at all?

Because it was obvious Mello wasn't coming back this time.

Not that she cared much. Mello could go ahead and leave if that was what he wanted. He could just stay with Matt, or get a place of his own.

She still didn't know what to do with the ring. Part of her wanted to keep it, since it was, technically, a gift, and jewelry was a stupid thing to throw away. On the other hand, there was no _point_ in keeping it, was there? Near ended up putting it in the lowest dresser drawer, underneath all of her extra socks, left to be forgotten.

Eventually.

The next day, as Near sat in her room with her dice, she heard the lock click, and the front door was opened. "Hello?" came a voice. "Near?"

"I'm in my room," the girl answered listlessly, carefully adjusting one of the upper dice. It fell to the floor, sending two others with it. Near sighed and retrieved them, carefully restacking them.

Her door was opened, and Lidner appeared in the doorway. "Near?" she asked.

"Mm."

A moment of silence. "Is it true?"

"Hm?" Near pretended not to understand. At least, that's what Lidner thought she was doing. Near never "not understood" things. It wasn't possible.

"Your email," the woman added for clarification. "The one I got yesterday?"

"Oh," mumbled Near. "_That_ one."

Lidner crossed the room and sat down next to Near, tucking her legs beneath her. She seemed to be at a loss for what to say. For a few minutes, the pair sat in silence, the clicking of Near's dice being set on top of the others being the only sound. Finally, Lidner cleared her throat. "So it's over then?"

Near paused, her hand poised _just_ above the dice-town. Then she nodded. "Mello took his ring with him when he left. I don't know what he did with it after that."

"Where's yours?"

Near gestured in the general direction of her dresser. "In the bottom."

Lidner sighed. But before she could say anything, Near spoke up with "Mello still communicates with you, does he not?"

No point lying. "You know he does."

"Mm." Near sat back for a few seconds, tilting her head to one side as she stared at the city. "I think that clock tower needs to be changed a bit," she mumbled. As she leaned forward again, adjusting a few dice, she added "I don't want you to share any information about me with him."

Lidner blinked. "Near?"

"He decided this was over. It's over, and we'll have nothing to do with each other again." Near lowered her head, her hair shielding her eyes from view. "It's a pity…"

**-oOo-**

"I can't believe you just _threw it away_," Matt muttered. "You could have taken it to a pawn shop, you know, if you didn't want to keep it."

"Shut up," Mellow growled.

"I'm serious. Jewelry can get a lot of bucks. And do you know how many guys would kill to buy an engagement ring for a little less than normal price? You could've-"

"I said shut up."

Matt shrugged his shoulders, not looking up from his game. "Just sayin'." All was quiet for a little bit, until he _had_ to keep talking, this time with "This doesn't mean you've sworn off women forever, does it?"

Mello, who was leaning back in the only easy-chair in the house, frowned and slowly sat up. He leaned over the side of the chair to look at Matt, standing in the doorway, with lowered eyebrows. "What?"

Again, Matt shrugged. "Just a question. Are you going to date someone else, get hookers, or date men? Because you know," he added, looking up and winking suggestively. _"I'm _not seeing anybody." He had to duck as the nearest blunt object was hurled at his head.

"Matt, you're a dumb-ass!" Mello reached for another heavy object. That lamp on the table would do quite nicely, come to think of it…

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" Matt cried when he saw Mello's hand inch towards it. "Well, only partially, but mostly I was kidding!" H let out an audible sigh of relief as Mello's hand went away from the lamp. He didn't think he'd really enjoy the feeling of a heavy lamp with a hot-light bulb (no lampshade was protecting bare flesh from touching the light bulb) colliding with his head. "But you, most guys _I_ know don't sit around after they break up with their girls. Especially you."

"Matt, most of the guys _you_ knew weren't going to win any 'Upstanding Citizen' award. And I think that most of the only break-ups that occurred with _them_ would be if they left their prostitute for a few days and saw another one." Mello's lips curled into a smirk.

"Aw, man, that hurts," Matt sighed with mock injury. "I thought you knew me better than that."

"I know you best, and that's why I said what I did," Mello retorted, leaning back.

"Ha ha. Really, what are you gonna do? Gotta get some of that tension out, if you know what I mean."

"Shut up."

Matt shrugged his shoulders again, putting the game on 'pause' while he made his way to the fridge. It was just a suggestion, but he supposed he had a valid point there. A guy had needs, and when he left a girl, shouldn't he fulfill those needs? Besides which, he hadn't exactly pegged Mello as the type to be monogamous. (Though he hadn't made _much_ of an effort to get out and do something since he arrived to live with Matt, apparently forever.)

After a few minutes of silence, during which Matt decided that he wasn't _really_ hungry and abandoned the fridge and returned to slaying the Ogre King. After a time, Mello finally said "You're right, though."

"Hm?" Matt looked up.

"I could've sold that stupid thing."

Matt snorted and returned to the game. "And I can only wonder what you would've bought with all that cash," he said sarcastically. He ducked again as another object (a phone book) was hurled at his head.

_Speaking of phone numbers…_ Mello thought to himself before pulling out his cell phone and punching in a few digits.

**-oOo-**

_"Where is she?!"_

_"Keep looking!"_

_"Damnit, when I get my hands on that girl, I'm gonna wring her scrawny neck!"_

_Near shuffled further into the closet, passing all the coats and hats hanging up, until her back hit the wall and she drew her legs closer to her. She could hear the sounds of heavy footfalls, several people running around outside, yelling things like 'Where the hell is that kid?'_

_That was only what she _heard. _IN reality, the voices were much less angry-sounding, more frantic than anything. The footfalls weren't really as loud or heavy, only a few of them…_

_She sniffled, praying no one would find her, not now. Not now… _

_One of the dangling sleeves of a coat tickled her nose, and she sneezed-just as someone stopped in front of the closet. _

_"Wait a sec, I think I heard something."_

No! _Near tried to shrink further back, eyes growing wider in terror as her body shook. _No, please…!

_The door was flung open, there was a cry of "I found her!" and then someone was reaching for her…_

_Big hands reaching for her…_

_As they touched her, she let out a scream and let herself go slack, mouth wide open in another, silent cry._

_"What the-?!"_

_The girl was dragged out of the closet until she was in the well-lit hallway, staring at the floor as she shook. She blinked, and slowly the feet became littler in her mind's eye, the voices became less harsh, and those hands…._

_The hands felt smaller and less rough. She looked up, eyes still wide._

_The blond blinked at her. "What's the matter with you?"_

_Swallowing the lump in her throat, Near moved forward and wrapped her small arms around the boy's legs, squeezing tightly. _

_"What the-?!"_

_"I think she likes you, Mels," another boy joked in attempt to lighten the mood._

_"Shut up."_

_"Come on, sweetheart," another voice, this one older, said. Stronger arms scooped her off the ground, and she went limp again. "Let's get you to infirmary."_

**-oOo-**

_Pipipipipi…_

Near gave a barely noticeable start. She hadn't been aware that she, to use a cruder expression, "zoned out." As if to make up for her lost time, she quickly set a die on top of the subway station.

Lidner was answering her cell.

_Ah, so that's what it was._

"Hello?" Lidner answered, business-like as usual. As she heard the voice on the other end, she cast a look towards near, almost as if she were nervous.

Near caught this and lifted a hand to wave her away.

"Lidner, it's me."

_Mello…_


	4. Chapter 4

"Where are you?"

Why was he acting so casual? Lidner glanced towards Near, who stared at her with dark eyes. The younger woman inclined her head. "Stay here," she said quietly.

At the same time, Mello's voice came again. "You're with Near, aren't you?"

In answer to both of them, Lidner answered, "Yes."

Near turned away from her and went back to stacking dice, but she didn't seem to care any more; she appeared less "into it" than she normally was. No doubt she was listening to see if she could recognize the voice on the other end.

"What, did she call you?"

"Yes."  
Silence. Lidner could vaguely hear a grumbled curse and something that sounded like "Damn her." But she wasn't sure _exactly_ who was being "damned" there, her or Near. It could have either of them.

"Leave."

Lidner raised her eyebrows. "Excuse me."

"You heard me. Leave. I want to talk to you."

Near spoke up. "You're talking to her right now, Mello," she said loudly. "I can hear you over the phone."

Mello started shouted things at Near that Lidner didn't want to repeat, and in such a loud voice that she had to hold the phone away from her ear. Finally, he shouted "God damn it, Near, mind your own business!"

Near leaned forward to speak into the mouthpiece. "You are talking to a member of my team, and she is in my home. I believe it is very much my business." She was calm and cold, like always.

"You shouldn't be eavesdropping anyway!"

"Mello, I haven't told you this, but I find your phone voice a bit loud at times," near retorted calmly. "It makes it quite easy to hear everything you say."

There was another string of threats and curses, and near smiled, ever so slightly, before saying, "And I can hear every one of those words as well, Mello."

"Lidner!" Mello suddenly snapped, changing the subject. "Just get out of there soon, okay?" And then he was gone.

Both women stared at the phone for a few moments before Near pulled away and went back to her dice tower. _Click. Click. _"Lidner, if he wants to see you, I won't stop him," Near said suddenly. _Click. _"Or you."

Lidner sighed. "Near, I'm not going to do that."

"He called you to him."

"You called me first. I was under the assumption you wanted…" Lidner faltered, trying to figure out how to end that sentence, and if it was truly correct. Comforting? Near didn't seem to be the type. True, she hadn't had any…lovers…before this, but she never seemed the type to crumple and sob her heart out after a break-up. She was too…put-together for that. Companionship? Hm. Better, after all, Near obviously needed people to be close to her, too. Mello, and Near's team, was proof of that. Even if she never showed it. (Well, hardly ever.)

"You wanted…"

"Lidner, if you want to leave, you may," Near repeated, sternly this time.

"Near…" Lidner stood and folded her arms, looking the image of a stern parent. "You contacted me and asked me to come, I did. I refuse to believe that you only wanted me here for a few minutes while you play with your dice."

Near blinked, looking slightly stunned. It only lasted a second though, and she turned away to return to her tower. "Very well, then," she said solemnly, one hand reaching up to twirl a long strand of hair between her fingers. "If you insist on staying-"

"Have you eaten yet?" Lidner interrupted.

A shake of the head. No.

"Do you _want_ to eat?"

Nod.

"What, then?"

Shrug. _Click._

Lidner sighed and turned to leave the room. Near heard her walking into the kitchen, then her muttering. No doubt she was either complaining of the lack of food in the refrigerator (Near would have told her to check the cupboards for some instant food, if she was still in the room. She wasn't sure how far her voice would carry at this moment. And she didn't entirely trust herself to speak right now), or she was complaining about Near herself.

Either way, Near didn't mind or care. She was used to it.

Her hand stilled as it went back to the dice, and she found herself wondering what Mello was up to at this very moment. He was obviously at Matt's, but _what_ was he _doing_? (She tried not to think that maybe he was, quite literally, "doing" something.) Well, since he had just shouted at her over the phone, he was probably in a dark mood, complaining about her and _maybe_ fantasizing about his hands wrapped around her throat. And not as an example of rough foreplay either.

She abandoned her dice and crawled her to the bed, reaching under the covers for a familiar object. Pulling out the toy robot, she held it to her chest, eyes closed.

…

_"I didn't do anything!" Mello was protesting, hands open and facing upward. Matt stood in front of him, his arms folded and his eyebrows raised. "She was already spazzing out when I got to her!"_

_"Mels, I believe you, really I do. But the teacher found you standing in front of Near, Near on the floor, whimpering, and you had your arms out. You have to admit, it looks fishy."_

_Mello growled and clenched his hands into fists. "Damn it." Why did this happen? He would usually make fun of Near, call her a freak, and he'd get sent to his room. But the one time he didn't do anything, the one time, the blame fell on him, and he was told that punishment would be more severe this time._

_He was telling the truth when he said he hadn't done anything. The teacher had just run in at the wrong time and jumped to conclusions. Not that he could blame her. It was pretty fishy._

_He had seen some of the older boys running out of one of the rooms, looking pleased with themselves, and cracking loud jokes to one another. But then he could hear a muffled whine from inside the room. Curiosity got the better of him, and he moved forward to peek inside. There, he had seen Near, curled into the fetal position on the floor, her small body shaking like she was crying. Colorful blocks, Legos, and dominoes surrounded her. Apparently she was making a building out of all three._

_She wasn't crying, of course. Much too strong. Much too cold._

_"Near?" he'd called out, a strange feeling overtaking him. He'd often tormented her, fantasized about making her cry, but…when someone else did it…. He didn't know how to explain it, so he told himself he just didn't like others doing his job. "Near, you okay in there?"_

_Near hiccuped, her breathing irregular._

_Fearing that she may be having what some kids called their "panic attacks," he moved inside, reaching out for her. She stiffened when he put a hand on the back of her head, but other than that, made no attempt to fight him off. Instead, she went limp._

_"Near, what happened?" he whispered. He bent down and got to one side, so he could see her face. No such luck. "Near?"_

_There was suddenly a gasp from the doorway. Mello whirled around to see one of the teacher sin the doorway, looking horrified. Next thing he knew, she was shouting for help as she pulled him away from Near, squeezing his wrist while another teacher rushed inside, picking up Near's limp form._

_And then he was in Roger's office for the next twenty minutes._

_Near had stood off to one side, still shaking slightly, but other than that, she looked the same as she usually did. Mello tried to explain what had happened, but it didn't help when he was clenching his fists and glaring at Near. He glared at her as if to say "Back me up, stupid. Say something!"_

_She didn't._

_Roger finally stood and asked him to please leave the office. He needed to speak to Near privately._

_Mello briefly wondered if she would lie to him, say that Mello had hurt her. But no, she wouldn't. Would she?  
Matt's eyes widened now and he pointed over Mello's shoulder. "Look who's here," he warned._

_Mello looked over his shoulder to see near shuffling his way, staring straight at him. Growling, he stood directly in front of her, crossing his arms. "What did you tell them?" he demanded. "You better not have lied!"_

_Near looked him in the eyes, unfazed. "I told the truth," she said softly. "That's all." And she walked around him, down the hall and to her own room._

_For a few moments, neither boy said anything. Matt finally shrugged. "Looks like you got nothin' to worry about, huh?"_

_"Yeah…yeah, I guess."_

_"But I gotta wonder," Matt mused aloud, brow furrowing. "Why she was so freaked out in there. And remember a few days earlier, when you found her in the closet?"_

_Mello nodded. That was strange._

_He found an answer later, when he was walking past a classroom. He could hear a few teachers inside, talking, no doubt over cups of tea. He usually didn't care when he heard adults talking to themselves (they never had anything really cool to say, unless one counted the time that two teachers were having an affair. That was kinda cool…), but he heard one of them say "Near…"_

_Huh?_

_"It's happened again, the poor girl," one teacher sighed. "Apparently some older boys came into the room she was playing in and thought it'd be funny to mess up her castle. Scared her."_

_But I do that all the time, Mello thought. And she's fine!_

_"It's always when a bigger boy does it, isn't it?" one teacher asked._

_"You know why, don't you?"_

_"No, I'm sorry."_

_"Well," one teacher whispered, as if sharing some juicy gossip. "You remember the orphanage they found her in, right?"_

_"Yes, of course. The teacher seemed a little upset to see her go."_

_"Well, it just so happens that the other children, and the boys especially, didn't like a small girl beating them all the time. The teacher tried to get her into the most advanced classes, but the kids didn't care for her there either."_

_"So what happened?"_

_A sigh. Mello moved closer, to hear better._

_"Well, no one is sure exactly what was going on. But it seems the boys cornered her and demanded she stop scoring so high. Wanted her to 'dumb herself down,' so to speak. Naturally, she refused. And, well…" She swallowed. "I'm not entirely sure what happened to her, but apparently every time she scored highest, in anything, be it a test or simple homework, the older boys would seek her out."_

_A horrified gasp. "They didn't…they didn't force themselves onto her, did they?"_

_"I'm not entirely sure. All I know is that she would start to run and hide every time it happened, and when they found her…Well, whatever it is that happened, she just gets so scared whenever an older boy acts so rambunctiously. Knocking over her blocks, shouting in her face, almost anything."_

_Another teacher sighed. "Poor girl."_

_Mello stood for a few seconds, before walking away. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. So…that time when Near ran to the closet, had some older boys scared her? And…why she went limp when an older male reached towards her, so she'd be heavier and harder to move?_

_And…and he did find out, one day…that she would get nightmares…_

_"Near," he called out a few hours later._

_Near looked up, in the middle of her bedroom. She seemed alright again, trying to construct her city in more private and safe areas of the orphanage. "Yes?"_

_Mello walked briskly towards her, and shoved something I her face. "I got this a while ago," he lied. Truthfully, he didn't know whose it was. But it was just laying in one corner of a room for the past week; someone had obviously stopped caring. "You want him? He's pretty cool, because if you hold him really close to you, like this," he demonstrated, 'then he sends out these little waves that chase away nightmares and bad things. But only if you don't act all scared, see? Because if you act scared, his powers go away, and he doesn't protect you anymore so you want him or not?" he hastily finished, holding it out again._

_Near stared at it, as if debating whether or not to trust him. Finally, albeit a bit skeptically, she reached forward and Mello practically shoved the robot into her hands._

_"There, see. Now if you hold him close like I showed you, and don't look or act so scared…" he started, feeling a small sense of pride when Near did as he said. "He makes all the bad things go away."_

_"Aw, Mello, I didn't know you cared,' Matt teased from behind him._

_Mello whirled around. "Matt! Get out of here! This is Near's room!"_

_"You're in her room, too," Matt pointed out. Then his eyes went wider. "Hey, that's mine!" he protested._

_"Nuh-uh, it's Near's."_

_"It was mine first!"_

_"Like you still use it! You have your games and those weird goggles for your courage!"_

_"Courage? What does that have to do with anything?"_

_Behind them, Near just ignored them both, stacking her blocks again, one arm wrapped around her new robot._

…

…

Near remembered his words. "If you hold him close, like this, he makes the bad things go away."

She squeezed it tight, but there was nothing, just as she knew there would be. It was all a lie. She closed her eyes tighter, swallowing as she shook slightly.

**Okay, so I messed with canon a bit. But it's an AU, it's okay, right?**


	5. Chapter 5

Not for the first time, Near began to question her relationship-well, _former_ relationship-with Mello. What was it exactly that had even made them so drawn to each other? They had almost nothing in common, Mello had often tried to pick a fight with her (and eventually, he would get into trouble), she pissed him off to no end...Why did they even choose each other?

She supposed that perhaps, in the very backs of their minds, they had thought there was a sort of yin and yang between them. They certainly looked the part. And if you combined two completely different things, a new (sometimes better) thing would be formed.. However, there were certain things that could never be mixed. Perhaps in reality, this is what they were. They weren't yin and yang, they were oil and water. No, worse. They were two highly unstable chemicals that were destined to explode.

Of course, her own chemical would be a lot less volatile...

Near tightened her grip on the robot. She didn't need it for courage anymore (she had known that it didn't work from the first day, but the thought was nice at least), but she kept it around, simply because it was hers now. One of her favorite toys...

Lidner came into the room, set a hand on her shoulder. "Near...come out and eat."

Near could smell eggs. She vaguely wondered how they had been prepared. "Did you find anything that satisfied you?" she asked, lips curling slightly in a small smirk.

There was a sigh. "I finally figured out why you're so small; you don't eat enough," Lidner muttered, releasing Near's shoulder. Near was grateful for that. She didn't want to be touched right now.

"You could shop for me," she said, following Lidner to the small kitchen. "You always did." She shifted her eyes to look at Lidner without moving her head. "I was under the impression that you enjoyed it at times."

Lidner didn't say anything, pushing the plate of food towards the girl. "I never bought you food," she answered. "I don't even know your eating habits. I could only hope you ate healthier than Mello."

"A chocolate bar several times a day..." Near said quietly, speaking to herself. "But otherwise, he did eat healthier foods." She lifted the fork and stabbed one of the eggs. Scrambled, she noticed. "Beer," she added. He had tried to get her to try it several times. Each and every time, Near had rejected the offer, telling him that alcohol poisoned the mind and affected judgment. Of course, Mello had said that he never got _drunk_ and that one beer was fine. Near never listened, and drank water and black coffee. She almost smiled, remembering how Mello had nearly gagged when he saw that.

"Rester wants to know if you'd like one of us to stay with you," Lidner told her, her fingers forming a sort of teepee.

Near was still chewing her first bite, slowly, as if she were checking for poison. Not that she had to worry about that...if anyone wanted to poison her, they'd have quite a job ahead of them. She was silent for so long that Lidner wondered if she had even heard her. But then she swallowed and shook her head. "I've always been alright on my own. I don't need anyone to stay with me."

Lidner wanted to point out that she was here right now, but Near said, as if reading her mind, "I will request that someone come to visit me during daylight hours, but they don't need to stay with me twenty-four-seven."

Yes, she had been alone nearly her whole life. Even if there had been a short time when there was someone else with her, their departure shouldn't bother her in the slightest. It didn't, Near told herself as she stabbed another piece of egg.

But why did she feel empty?

**-oOo-**

Mello needed a woman, now. Or a man. This, Matt was sure of.

He and Near must have slept together quite a few times, because Mello seemed to be going through some sort of withdrawal. Matt had heard him muttering once about "needing a good fuck right now," and that morning, when Matt had gone to shake him awake, Mello had, still asleep, reached up and tried to pull Matt down for a kiss. Matt had shoved him away as quickly as possible, and Mello didn't even remember doing it. In fact, he'd called Matt a liar when he tried to explain why his face was so red. (Near and Mello must've had sex after they woke up, too...And now Matt desperately wanted those images out of his head.)

"What _exactly_ do you plan to do?" he asked that day, staring at his blond friend.

Mello shrugged noncommittally. "Haven't thought that far head yet."

"You're seriously not going back to Near?"

"Hell no."

Matt sighed. "Okay, I've had enough," he muttered. "What _exactly_ did she do?" Whatever it was, it had to be pretty bad...Near and Mello had certainly fought a lot, but he never thought that Mello'd go as far as to break off their engagement. And he couldn't think of anything worse than near always did on a daily basis. At worse, she'd ignore Mello to play with her toys instead, accidentally(?) belittle him, or _possibly_ refuse to have sex. That was it. So what...?

Mello didn't answer for a long time. "I got sick and tired of it," he said at last.

"Sick and tired of what?"

"Everything!" Mello snapped. He didn't look or sound hurt or sad; there weren't any tears in his eyes or anything. This was just pure anger. "That little bitch always thinks she's better than I am, and just _loves_ to try and prove it! Well, that one night she just did it one too many _fucking_ times, and I had enough of it! Okay?"

Matt blinked. Watched Mello go to the fridge for his much-needed chocolate, muttering about how awful that little "white-haired freak of nature" was. Matt's hand went to his head, feeling a headache coming on. _I need a cig..._

"So...what you're saying is..." Matt ventured slowly. "She just did what always did, but it was way too much-"

"You deaf or stupid? Of course that's what I'm saying!"

"Well, what _exactly_ did she say to you, then?" Matt asked, palms upward. "Can't have been anything worse than what she's always-"

"Matt, if I wanted a marriage counselor, I'd have gotten one," Mello growled. "I don't need you playing therapist for me."

Actually, it wouldn't have surprised Matt if Near _had _suggested they see a counselor. Though he suspected that most counselors would go nuts trying to handle Mello, and tentatively ask if maybe they should just see other people.

Wait, wasn't that what Mello was trying to do just now? Hook up with Lidner? Is that why he had called? _Oh, fuck, and _I_ suggested it! _Matt groaned and fell back, his head hitting the back of his easy-chair. Mello shot him a strange look, but Matt didn't notice it. _I was just kidding! Kinda..._

Well, he decided shortly. If Mello and Near were finished, then...

That was that. He had no business with that. He wouldn't meddle, wouldn't play matchmaker (not that he had before, anyway), and if he ever spoke to Near...which he didn't think he would do, but just in case, he sure as _hell_ wouldn't tell Mello or let him find out.

**-oOo-**

If she called Mello right now, what would he say to her? Near wondered to herself, sitting in her town of blocks. She wouldn't call him of course, that was what pathetic little whimpering housewives did, or those wimpy little girls on those ridiculous daytime soap operas did. But if she _did_, what would happen?

_He'd lose his temper and start swearing at me, _she decided, gently setting a tiny block on top of her church. It needed a bell tower.

And what if, by some strange occurrence, such as mind-controlling aliens or food poisoning, what if Mello came back? For reason _other_ to get any of his things that he had missed earlier?

She didn't know. It wouldn't have gone the way it did one night, after yet another of their arguments, and Mello's leaving. _Fleeing,_ she corrected herself. He was _fleeing. _Just like a child.

Oh, Mello would kill her if he heard that and no one would ever find the body...

But one night, after the two had argued again, and Mello had left only to come back several hours later...It was then that Near really questioned their destructive behavior.

_"Why do we keep doing this?" she asked him that night, voice sounding more dead than usual. They had just finished their favorite way of making up, and Near was stretched out beside him, her head on his chest. One of Mello's arms was around her upper back, and his thumb was absently stroking her skin. She could smell both of their sweat. "It can't be very healthy for us," she mumbled, her eyelids growing heavy._

_"I don't know," he had answered her. His own voice sounded a little more animated than her own. Mello always lasted longer than she did after their coupling. Maybe he had more experience and was therefore immune to that powerful chemical that made them both want to sleep. "Stupidity, I guess."_

_"Hmm...most people would have left each other a long time ago," Near mused. "And yet we still keep coming back to each other. Why do you think that is?"_

_"You're only asking me because you have your own theory, aren't you?"_

_Near smiled a little. "I don't know if I _ could_ explain our actions. Logically, at least." If she said what her thoughts were, Mello would say that this was highly unlike her. Her theory was that they physically _could not_ be apart for too long. They were yin and yang, they needed each other to complete each other. And if they were ever separated for too long, well, who knows what would happen? Sure, they'd been separated four years at one point, but Near didn't think that it was a good thing at all. After all, Mello had gotten horribly scarred. She knew it had nothing to do with their separation, but she couldn't help but think it._

_"I don't think we're ever going to be able to be apart for too long, do you?" she asked him, wanting to hear his answer before sleep overtook her._

_"I doubt it, seeing as how we always end up like this every time we fight. It's a vicious cycle we go through..."_

And we're both insane for that_, Near thought to herself, glancing at her hand, covered by his, resting on his chest. Both their engagement bands seemed to glow, and they were the last thing she saw before closing her eyes and falling into a dreamless sleep._

_That was about a week before their last argument, proof that they were both wrong as well as insane._


	6. Chapter 6

Near wasn't sure if she believed in curses or not. She was forced to believe in shinigami now, and of an evil notebook. But curses? That was something that still had no evidence so far and she had never seen it with her own eyes. But if they _did_ exist, then Near was certain that all the Whammy orphans had to be under one. Now that she thought of it, none of them seemed to be lucky in love at all, and all of them had doomed relationships...

She'd heard that A had been seeing someone at the orphanage, and...well, A had died. Linda had had a crush on several other orphans, but all of them went unrequited, and Linda had often been let down in such a harsh way. (At one point Linda had even suggested she might be falling for Near. Near'd tried to be a little more gentle in letting her down, but it didn't seem to have worked.) After that, while near had still been in the orphanage, Linda had apparently given up on pursuing romance.

And she had somehow found out that even L had harbored feelings for someone. She had scarcely believed it. Distant, emotionless L had actually fallen for someone... That someone happened to be the one he was trying to bring to justice. And she knew what had happened to _him._

(It was fortunate that the killer had soon followed, in her eyes.)

And then there was Mello and herself.

Near placed the bell tower on top of the church was constructing, vaguely wondering why she'd chosen to build, of all things, a _church. _But so far it looked pretty impressive. She had started out building a wall, as if it were a protective barrier around a city. The wall soon became a small building, the larger, then the roof got taller and taller...and now she was looking around the immediate area for more pieces.

Well...not really. Her heart wasn't completely in her building this time. And she knew why.

_Mello was always one to live by his emotions,_she thought to herself. _But I never thought he'd act like a small child at his age._

It'd been about a month now since he left, and Near was actually starting to feel _annoyed_ with the blond. This was far more childish than she had _ever_ thought he would act.

The young woman glanced towards the cell phone at her side. She'd had it for quite some time, using it on occasion to summon Lidner, or Rester, or Gevanni, to her home and bring her something. She'd also used it to dial Mello's number, but he must have had caller I.D, because he never answered. Not even during a time of day when she was _certain_ that he wasn't doing anything.

Well, okay, he had called her once. Left a voice-mail, saying only "I didn't take any of _your_ stuff," before hanging up.

"I didn't think you did," she had said into the phone, as if he could hear her. Damn him...

This was getting ridiculous. Mello had no reason to completely disappear on her this time. She'd tolerated it when he had first left the orphanage, but now...now when circumstances were different and he was only doing it out of spite and nothing more...It was petty. One didn't walk out on their fiancée and break off their engagement only because he'd grown tired of being "second."

And if _Mello_ wouldn't pick up his phone, then maybe...

Thankfully, Near had memorized the number when she caught a glance at the little display when Mello had punched in the number. She quickly dialed, held the phone to her ear, and waited.

_Rrrrrr...._

_...._

_Rrrrr...._

_...._

_Rrr-_

_Click._

A low groan was heard before Matt's voice, heavy with sleep, asked "What?"

"Still no phone manners, I see," Near said, a small smile coming to her lips.

"Aw, shit, _Near?" _Matt whispered, sounding wide awake now. "Jesus Christ...how'd you get my number?"

"Spying," Near dead-panned, ignoring Matt's subsequent groan.

"Why am I not surprised?" he mumbled. "Does Mello know you know this number? Why did you call me anyway? And do you know what time it is?!" he snapped that last question.

Near was silent a few moments before saying "Would you like me to answer those questions in order?"

A sigh. "No, not all of them. I can pretty much tell that Mels doesn't know...And the clock here says it's seven in the morning," he said, somewhat accusatory.

Near should've remembered Matt wasn't a morning person.

"I'm calling you to speak to Mello," she said, in that slow and quiet way of hers that didn't betray any of her emotions. "He hasn't been answering his phone lately."

Matt was silent for a few moments, and the pale girl knew that he was having some sort of internal battle. "Um...listen," he said at last, dropping his voice to a low whisper. "He's sleeping right beside me right now, so I gotta be quiet."

Near nodded, though Matt couldn't see it. But he plowed on anyway.

"He's not really doing much of anything these days. Goes out and rides his bike around every now and then, sure, and he's been trying to get a hold of Halle-"

"I am aware of that last part," near interrupted softly.

A faint, nervous chuckle. "Right...well. He's not quite himself. I know you tried to call him a few times...I even picked up the phone and tried to hand it to him, believe me. Guy saw who it was and...well, if looks could kill..." he muttered. "But, anyway...This is gonna sound weird-I think he _needs_ to talk to you, he just doesn't _want_ to. "know?"

Near was silent.

"You there?"

"Matt."

"Yeah?"

"Just give Mello the phone..."

Matt sighed. "Look, I can't guarantee anything, but alright..." The sound faded as Matt pulled the phone away from his ear, and Near could vaguely hear him trying to rouse Mello. There was a low mumble, a "Hey, wake up, man," a few muttered curses...And then Mello's voice.

"What?" he groaned. His voice was even thicker than Matt's was, and it sounded as if he wasn't completely out of it yet. Near just hoped he wouldn't fall asleep on her.

"Mello, it's Near," she began.

And Mello suddenly sounded a lot more awake. There was a sound on his end that sounded like bed springs squeaking, and a sound of some fabric being thrown aside. Mello must've sat up and had the blanket move from the force. "What the hell?!" he cried. "Near, how did you get this number?"

"I watched your display screen," she said simply. She tried to mask her pleasure at hearing his voice again. And the fact that, for now, he wasn't cursing at her and telling her to mind her own business, stay away, and all that. "Mello, I need to speak with you."

"You have ten seconds," he growled.

Near should have seen that coming..."Mello, I don't think I could say it all in ten _minutes,_" she said slowly. "We need to talk about this-"

"Six..." Mello suddenly said. "Five..."

"Mello, you are being more childish than when you were able to get away with it," she said, suddenly angry. "Would you please act your own age and listen to reason?"

The only answer was "Four...Near, If you don't tell me what this is about in the next few seconds, I'm hanging up and not answering this phone anymore, either."

Fine. If that was how he wanted to do it. "Mello, come home."

Mello suddenly stopped counting, as if she'd taken him by surprise. "What?"

She inhaled a deep, shaking breath. "Mello, I want you to come home," she repeated. "What you're doing right now is making a mountain out of a molehill," she said, using a phrase that she'd often heard others use. Up until now, she'd never really found a need for it herself. "I want you to come back home, and we'll talk this through, alright-"

"You still think it's all my fault," he growled accusingly.

Near fell silent.

"Near. Listen to what you're told this time, for once in your damn life, okay? I. Am not. Going back to you," he said, each word feeling like a knife to her heart. "I meant it when I said I'd had it with you. And the ring's gone anyway," he added, as if it were a mere afterthought.

Near swallowed, feeling herself start to shake. "We could always-"

"No. I'm hanging up."

She heard Matt's shout of "Wait, I want to tell her-" in the background before all sound was lost from his end. She sat there, holding the phone to her ear for a moment before clicking the "End Call" button and setting it back down. She swallowed...why did her throat hurt?

There was a firm knock at her door, and whoever it was came in without being asked to. "Near?" a familiar voice called.

_Gevanni..._

The dark-haired man came into the room, a shopping bag at his side. Near lifted her head to stare up at him.

"Lidner called me. Said you were all by yourself for the past few days." He didn't look away from her for an instant. "I heard about what happened between you and Mello."

Silence.

Gevanni squatted down, and held the bag to her. "Brought you something," he said, like a father to his child, trying to bribe them. Or...

Or giving them a gift to make up for something lost.

Near slid the box out of the white plastic of the bag, stared at the cover of it. A puzzle...

And then she took Gevanni by surprise by scooting forward and attaching herself to him. Her hands went up to grip the fabric of his shirt, her frame shaking slightly. She moved closer, like a child.

"Near?" he asked, sounding stunned. And she didn't blame him. Awkwardly, he lifted his arms to wrap around her. One hand went to the small of her back, the other to the back of her head and patted it. "Near...are you okay?"

"A puzzle," she whispered.

"What?"

"I had a dream last night..." she whispered, eyes closed, body trembling. Her throat felt sore, but she never cried. She would not cry. "I was a puzzle..."

_Near, clothed in white at all times, looked at her pale hands. There were faint outlines of abstract shapes all over her skin. She was made of puzzle pieces. Opposite her stood Mello, a black puzzle. He reached for her, not the other way around, and their hands fit perfectly together._

_Then he smirked, jerked his hand away, and the pieces forming her own hand clattered to the ground._


End file.
